Saturday, December 19, 2009

Would I Change if I knew?

Had an Artist's Date the day after Chris Feinstein died. Went to Guitar Center and played electric guitars. Here's the one I loved:

Right now I'm sitting down to organize my checkbook and pay some bills. And I'm hearing Tracy Chapman wondering "would you change" if you knew . . .

and I am mystified by that question. Would I? Is The Artist's Way helping me get clearer on that? It seems multi-layered.

The primary level being that of being-ness. Of softening into the Divine within and all around. "That permeates, penetrates and fills the interspaces of the Universe," as Wallace Wattles says. That being that is everything and nothing. The space inside of the spinning atoms that make us up and everything around us. Emptiness. And what is more primary than to rest in that and to know that? For me, nothing.

The secondary level being doing-ness. So, yes, I'll balance my checkbook and pay some bills because that's part of the secondary world, the world of form, that we live in. I don't have to, nobody's forcing me, but it seems like a good thing to do. Keep things on this level more comfortable.

And then what? Will I go take care of my passport photos and go to the gym? I love working out and enjoy being at the gym. I'm glad I distinguished that just then because I have been wondering where things like going to the gym fit in with our unknown lifespan. I see that loving exercise makes it a worthwhile thing to do. Don't we want to be doing things we love if we don't know how long we'll live? And we don't.

See, I'm hopeful AW is helping me clarify that conversation. The one for what to do in the world of form.

I just want to live 100% on guidance. And my mind's been talking to me a lot. Pushing me a little bit and I go the other direction when it does.

This week we're told that when we're blocked a great thing to do is just one thing. Just one thing. Julia says we don't want to hear it (and I didn't) but then I did a little something, and I liked it.

We've been looking, also and again, at what we're not allowed to do.

I have much to reconcile in that department. (Wow, I just saw the judgment in that word, reconcile. Whew!) And it's right here for me to look at. (How about, I have much to surrender to in that department?)


Would I change if I knew?

Nope. Here's Joni Mitchell singing one of my favorite of her songs. I'm in.

1 comment:

  1. I think, at times, long ago, you partied like a rockstar ;) Bobby smokes the KB